In the blame game, we should look at ourselves to find the answer

Lynda Richards

guest columnist

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to find somebody to take the fall for the ills of the world? From the President of the United States blaming the politicos and past presidents for problems we face, to kids at school blaming their teachers for not understanding their homework.

I am a master of the game.

I blame everyone from God, to my husband, to the dog for the cause of my unhappiness or ineptitude. I have been paying close attention to this phenomenon over the course of the past few months and I’m wondering, why are we so quick to blame and so short on understanding the real problem?

Listening to the State of the Union Address, I was confused. What union? We point the finger back and forth across the aisle, hoping it will stick to someone, but no answers are forthcoming, and definitely no unity.

Then I notice someone like Eunice Kennedy Shriver. No one blames her. Quietly, without any fanfare, or “hey, look at me, I’m a Kennedy!” she single-handedly changed the way we look at those who have disabilities. Her death last August struck a chord with me.

Eunice did what she did for one reason: She didn’t blame anyone. She didn’t curse God for the fact that Rose, her sister, was born with disabilities. She didn’t wonder why doctors and the health care community didn’t work harder and faster to find a “cure” for her disability. She didn’t even complain of the unfairness.

Eunice quietly went about making sure her sister was able to live the best life she could under the circumstances and with less stigma and prejudice than those who came before her. She saw a need, and she created an international organization we now know as the Special Olympics.

She changed millions of lives by getting busy with the business of making it right instead of blaming someone else.

I was encouraged by the story of Molly Hightower, the 22-year-old who selflessly served the children of Haiti instead of obtaining a lucrative job as a physical therapist in the United States. Her memory lives on among shoe drives and donations for the mission she served.

I want to make that kind of difference, even after I’m gone.

Roy Anderson did. His recent death is a huge loss, but his life is a valuable study in leadership and service. As we mourn his loss, we realize he wasn’t one to throw the blame card around, either.

If there were challenges, Roy found answers and rose above them, despite what the odds seemed to be. Roy helped create the Peninsula Athletic Association and ran it for years, and he gave thousands of kids the ability to learn about hard work, teamwork, and the joy of a day on the ball field.

Community leaders like Roy don’t have time to blame people, because there’s too much to be done! Supporting PAA through time and talents help keep the memory of what Roy stood for alive.

I want to be like Eunice, Molly and Roy. I know there are others like them out there, but we need to mobilize. Our world needs us to be like them, not to point our fingers at a million people who are to “blame” for the state of the union, but to notice the three that point back, telling us we are the answer to the nation’s ills.

There is so much work to be done, and, as President Obama has challenged, we all can take a role in making this a better place.

Hunger, for example. Schools provide breakfast and lunch for kids who “qualify,” but what about asking the couple who lives down the street and just lost their jobs over for dinner?

Or what about the guy who is down on his luck and needs a job? Hire him to do those odd jobs around your house that you just never get around to.

Or talk to a “latch key” kid and invite him or her over for cookies after school and a place to just hang after a long day? Maybe ask them how school is going, see if they need help on their homework.

Better yet, volunteer at the new Milgard Family Hope Center.

All any of us can do is take responsibility for our actions and see what’s in our sphere of control. Eunice Shriver, Molly Hightower and Roy Anderson all did it. It’s what volunteers at FISH and at local nursing homes do, and it’s what I want to do; quietly, without fuss or fanfare, to change the world — with no one to blame but ourselves.

Lynda Richards is a mother of three, along with being the teacher of reading, writing and thinking. She can be reached by e-mail at richardsl@peninsula.wednet.edu.