reprint or license Print E-Mail AIM

A new movement is giving Gig Harbor something to talk about

Paige Richmond

of the Gateway

Around Gig Harbor, people are talking. The area is changing, and those living in the community want to offer their opinions and hear the views of others. From the kinds of businesses sprouting up to the city’s most recent construction project, there are ideas on the top of everyone’s minds — and words on the tips of their tongues.

Or at least, that what’s Norma Dompier and Miriam Battson think. “We have no agenda for change,” Battson said about the Conversation Café that she and Dompier hosted earlier this month. “It’s an idea incubator (to) bring things to the surface.” The two Gig Harbor women, both of whom are professional life coaches, hope their newest project will bring their friends’ and neighbors’ ideas out into the open. Dompier and Battson will plan and encourage others to plan Conversation Cafés — conversations in public places where members of the community can speak their minds — throughout Gig Harbor. Penny Fernbaugh, a nutritionist who has lived in Gig Harbor for the past four years, was one of a dozen people who showed up to the event at Java & Clay Café earlier this month. The coffee shop’s tables, which are usually reserved for molding clay and painting pottery, were draped in butcher paper. Crayons and notecards were scattered across the paper’s surface, rudimentary instruments that would be used by Fernbaugh to write down her answer to one question: What do you feel is needed for the vitality of Gig Harbor? As soon as Dompier read the question aloud, Fernbaugh picked up a crayon and started writing. She scribbled her thoughts about the city’s growth and how to attract a younger demographic to move here. “It needs to remain a small, unique community,” she said “But the downtown needs to grow.” Fernbaugh’s reaction to the question — namely, an immediate inspiration to make her thoughts known — is why Dompier wanted to hold a Conversation Café. Last year, while taking a yearlong course in leadership development and training, she was assigned a community project. She started searching the Internet and stumbled across www.conversationcafé.org, the Web site for The Conversation Café Initiative. The initiative was started in 2001 in Seattle by Vicki Robinson, the co-author of the best-selling self-help book “Your Money or Your Life.” The idea was simple enough: generate a network of people who were willing to foster community dialogue while following a few simple rules about conversation. There’s no central agency that runs the cafés, and there’s no financial gain. The organization is based solely on volunteers. “It’s an easy process,” Dompier said. “This is exactly what I want to do: Have conversations and develop community.” A longtime member of the Gig Harbor Peninsula Area Chamber of Commerce — who just joined the chamber’s board of directors two weeks ago — Dompier suggested the idea to Battson, another chamber member. Both women said they shared “a passion for conversation” and felt the timing was right to hold a café, particularly because of recent changes in the area, like the new Narrows bridge and the additions in Gig Harbor North. “I try to bring out the best in my clients,” Battson said. “Now, it’s about, ‘How can we draw out the best in our community?’ ” The rules of the Conversation Café are designed to bring out the best sort of dialogue. Participants are asked to listen to all points of view and to aim for brevity rather than long-winded speeches. A talking object, an item that allows the person holding it to speak while everyone else listens, is used to ensure that each person gets their turn. “A big part of this will be listening,” Dompier told participants before the café began. “Whatever comes out of your mouth is going to be fine.” The dozen café-goers were divided into three tables of four people each. Fernbaugh sat at one table with Tim Lopez, an insurance agent, and Darlene Cherry, a realtor. Each person had different concerns about the city’s vitality, but as business owners, all three expressed similar ideas. A 20-year Gig Harbor resident, Lopez lamented a lack of activities in town for his two teenage children. He suggested more businesses stay open late to provide safe places for teenagers to hang out. Cherry thought the city could use more affordable housing for younger people, in order to encourage them to live and work in the area. “There are young people or older people who want to be able to walk out their front door and grab a cup of coffee,” she said. “We’ll see a lot of urban living coming to Gig Harbor.” At the end of the café, all the participants sat around one table to discuss what they had learned. Some tables had similar business focuses: Steve Lynn, a member of the newly formed Gig Harbor Historic Waterfront Association, talked about the importance of sustaining small businesses in town. “Sustainability is a funny thing, because if you don’t do anything, ‘quaint’ will become ‘antiquated,’ and you’ll be in a decline,” he said. Others wondered what the next step would be. With all of the ideas offered, such as the need for more downtown parking, questions floated around about whether citizens should take action to implement change. Battson said Conversation Cafés aren’t about enacting new policies or sending petitions to the city council, or even about organizing grassroots movements. Instead, they are to serve as meeting places where others might develop ideas they can take elsewhere, and where community members might feel inspired to host their own Conversation Cafés. “Anybody can host a café,” Battson said, suggesting that those interested can visit the Conversation Café Web site. “We’d be happy to come in and facilitate, too.” It’s part of the reason why Battson and Dompier invited members of the chamber and other business owners to their first café event. They hope that the more people talk about change, the more likely they will be enact change in their own lives and communities — outside the walls of their own homes or coffee shops. “You start with an open mind,” Battson said. “Do people come here with agendas? Probably. But they are willing to suspend that and have a dialogue about vitality.”

Dictating conversation

This week is Global Conversation Week, so it’s the right time to start talking about important issues in Gig Harbor. For those interested in having potentially heated dialogues, here are the guidelines suggested by the Conversation Café Initiative:

Open-mindedness: Listen to and respect all points of view. Acceptance: Suspend judgement as best you can. Nobody is wrong. This is not a debate. Curiosity: Seek to understand rather than persuade. Sincerity: Speak for yourself what has personal heart and meaning. Brevity: Go for honesty and depth, but don’t go on and on.

The next Conversation Café

While anyone can hold a Conversation Café (visit www.conversationcafé.org for more details), Norma Dompier and Miriam Battson will hold their next event from 8:30 to 10 a.m. April 18. Call 253-858-7990 or 206-227-1507 for the location or more information about the topic.

Reach Lifestyles Coordinator Paige Richmond at 853-9243 or by e-mail at paige.richmond@gateline.com.